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| Tuesday, February 08, 2005 |
| The Agony and the Ecstasy |
You know, I think I've told too many of my friends about this blog. I hate having to hesitate about what I write and think about who reads this.
Anyway...the drive to Massachusetts went off without a hitch. Unfortunately the same could not be said about the Superbowl. The outcome was pretty much as expected; however, I can still say I'm proud of the Eagles. The Patriots are a class A team, and although they definitely didn't bring their best game (especially the offense) they were the best team out there that Sunday. But the Eagles came to play, and they did; they gave the Patriots some moments of worry. Good on them! We're all undefeated again as of Monday.
Now. A bit about the situation I was in up there. I stayed with my friends, "N" and "C" a married couple. I really enjoy watching them interact with each other (get that thought out of your head, I didn't mean it that way). They really are perfect for each other. They have fun together. They make each other laugh. I'd like to be so lucky someday. For me though, the situation has its awkward moments. I knew N, the male half, first. I wouldn't say we ever dated, per se, at one point, years ago, there was something between us. So, I suppose I know things about him that C, as your average human woman, probably wishes I did not know. C is wonderful, she's very comfortable with herself (she's smart, talented, and pretty) and her relationship with N. I think the way she looks at it is: "that was then, this is now, and now he's mine." And that's good, that's the way it should be. I'm so glad we can all be friends. It would have been a shame to lose my friendship with N (like I did with my friend Matt) when he found the person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And not only did I not lose that friendship, I gained a good friend in C. I really have been lucky in my friends. N & C and I can go for a couple years without seeing each other, and still just fall back into being friends like I lived around the corner.
Now, another thing that developed from my friendship with N is that I met his best friend, B. I don't know about for B (I'll have to ask him) but the first time we met it was like things were electrically charged between us. I had never before experienced seeing a guy and thinking, "I want that and I'll get it" like I did with B--it's really not in my nature to be that confident in myself. We got a chance...sort of a moment in time--a few days in a fishbowl, is how I think of it for some reason. And then went our separate ways. But it's always been there, every time I saw him...that spark. Usually either he was dating someone or I was, so a distance was kept, but it was there. We have a lot in common I think. He's smart and ambitious, I think he could do just about anything he wanted to do if he set his mind to it. We're both about a year out from break-ups that really pulled the rug out from under us and made us feel like we were starting over again--from a place we never wanted to be. We got a chance to talk for a long time on Sunday night. (Going to bed at 5.15 am on the day you have drive back to Pennsylvania was probably not a great idea, but these things have to be done.) I don' t know if anything will come of all this, but I hope so. We'll have to see what happens, but I'd really like a second chance with him--just to see if we could be more. I don't even know precisely what he is thinking about all this, that's OK. I think we'll have to tread softly and be really careful with each other--slowly. And just see...
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posted by LoRi~fLoWer
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