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Writing Tripe Since 2004
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Thursday, March 24, 2005
Dunkin' Donuts Gets Revenge
Karma, which apparently has no regard for proper grammar, just peace, love, and kindness, reared its formidable head at me this morning.

I woke up early today. With a thought of finding out about the new position, I dressed in pinstriped trousers and my rose-colored sweater that makes my skin look fab-u-lous. I did my hair. I took extra care with my make up. I strutted out of the house feeling oh-so professional, put together, and--dare I say it?--even pretty. And best of all, I still had time to stop and get coffee.

As I exited my car and strode confidently across the parking lot, I garnered an admiring glance from a cable guy or a telephone repairman. As I approached the outer door to Dunkin' Donuts, two men vied to hold open the door for me. "Damn," I thought, "I'm good." So I gave them my best movie star smile and said "Good Morning, thanks so much!" Brilliant, Lori, brilliant. I proceeded to head toward the inner door, stepped off the mat, slid the 3 feet across the lobby, smashed my knuckle against the glass door, and ended with my face smeared across the plate glass , gripping the door handle like a drowning woman holds onto a life buoy. My vain hope that nobody saw my acrobatics was quashed when I hauled myself upright and noticed that everyone inside the store had turned their heads my way at the sound of flesh hitting glass at high a velocity.

Brilliant, Lori, brilliant.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
  • At 8:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You're very brave to recount that story... not many people would have. The good news is that, with the help of your coworkers, you could probably find some way to sue Dunkin Donuts. Clearly, the floor mat was not long enough -- or maybe there was some defect in the door. Just think: you could OWN that place!!! Free doughnuts for all, and no signs with grammatical errors. I'd eat there.... - K

  • At 8:54 AM, Anonymous Mark said…

    Too bad it wasn't Krispy Kream. They've got a little more money right now.
    And always remember the sage words of Steve Martin: "Comedy isn't pretty."

  • At 11:55 AM, Blogger LoRi~fLoWer said…

    Yeah, not pretty at all. And that slide/crash/smear move would have made Sandra Bullock proud. I learned a long time ago to laugh at myself. When you are constantly doing clumsy, awkward things, it becomes a defense mechanism. :O )

  • At 7:19 PM, Anonymous I Love Cars said…

    I have always wanted to set up my own website. I have found the tasks a little intimidating. Now I am thinking about starting a blog. It seems a little easier to start publishing fairly quickly.

    Much appreciated,
    Carpet Car Mats

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