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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
10 Things I Like About Being Single (in no particular order)
Because I don't have the right to complain about something I'm not actively trying hard enough to change (ahem), not only am I going to cease to complain about it (in this post) but I'm going to celebrate my singlehood.
  1. Usually, there's no possible chance that I'll accidentally get pregnant
  2. If I felt like it, I could go for weeks without shaving (as long as I wore pants)
  3. I don't have the annoying habit of saying "we don't like sushi; we hated that movie; we find her singlehood offensive
  4. I don't have to check in with anybody
  5. I don't have to pretend to like his friends or his family
  6. I don't have to factor anybody else's likes, dislikes, dreams, or wishes into my plans
  7. I don't have to share my financial situation with anyone
  8. I can sleep in the shape of an "x" on my bed
  9. I can read in bed with the light on for as long as I want to
  10. I can hang out with my girlfriends on the spur of the moment
I really should celebrate my freedom, not mourn it. Then, when and if I find someone that is worth my giving up this freedom for, I'll know he's pretty special.

Oh, here's another good reason to stay single. In the words of Eddie Izzard (I'm in a very Eddie sort of mood today:

And Henry VIII, a big hairy king, went up to the Pope and said, "Mr. Pope! I'm gonna marry my first wife, then I'm gonna divorce her. Now, I know what you're gonna say, but stick with me. My story gets better. Second wife, I'm gonna kill her! Cut her head off. Ah, not expecting that, are we? Third wife gonna shoot her. Fourth wife, put her in a bag. Fifth wife, into outer space. Sixth wife, on a rotissamat. Seventh wife, made out of jam..." and the Pope is saying, "You crazy bugger! You can't do all this, what are you a Mormon? It's illegal. What have you been reading? The gospel according to St. Bastard?"
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
  • At 6:18 PM, Blogger Becky said…

    I like the "usually, there's no possibility to get pregnant."

    But then again, I suppose we are all capable of the Immaculate Conception, right?

    Excellent list, particularly sleeping like an X. Oh yeah -- no SNORING or Dutch Ovens!

  • At 7:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Excellent point about the dutch ovens... and platters!!! What is up with everyone giving platters???


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