This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from Lori~Flower. Make your own badge here.
Writing Tripe Since 2004
BlogYear in Review 2005

BlogYear in Review 2006
Previous Posts

Wednesday, August 31, 2005
The ringing did not meld into my dreams. No, it abruptly and completely woke me out of them. Before I even realized that I was awake, I felt adrenalin coursing through me. Before I realized that I was awake at 2.42 am because the phone had rung, I had lifted myself to my elbows, listening.

The second ring brought conscious thought. "Who this time?" "Not again."

My mother's answering machine picks up after 3 rings. I wait for the third to fade away and pad slowly, mechanically, down the stairs, my heart beating as if I had run down 15 flights. I stop about 5 feet from the answering machine and stare at it. "Who will it be? How will I hold her together again?" But both the phone and the answering machine hanging on the kitchen wall are silent. Long after I needed to, I stand waiting for the red light to blink, then turn around to stare at my mobile phone on the table. Nothing.

Heart rate returning to normal, I trudge back up the stairs and climb back into my bed. I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling, remembering. And thinking about how this is one of the few occurrences in my life where the melodrama isn't self-created or intentional, but instinctual. Thinking about people who say, "at least when you lost him you were finished growing up. At least it won't leave a scar."
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Post a Comment
<< Home

Home: Eastern PA, United States

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same" --The Fray

My Ecosystem Details
Blogs in my Cycle of Song
Feeding my Gossip Addiction
Stuff You'll Never Look At

My blog is best viewed with Firefox. It's better and it's FREE!
Get Firefox!

Free Blogger Templates

I'm an A-list Blogebrity


Weblog Commenting and Trackback by

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.