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| Friday, September 02, 2005 |
| R-E-S-P-E-C-T |
When do you have to give it to me?
The other day my roommate got in an argument with the guy she has been seeing for the past, oh, two months or so, maybe? She had gone to a conference for almost a week and he didn't call her the whole time. Because he didn't call her, she didn't call him. And when she got back, she ripped him a new one. He got mad, too, but the next night he was there, right next to her where she wanted him.
Did she do the right thing? Was she overreacting? Maybe. But she was definitely sticking up for herself. Something that I have trouble doing under any circumstances. And something that I certainly wouldn't attempt with a guy I'd only been seeing for weeks.
When do you have the right to demand that sort of respect? Is it immediately after a person shows an interest in you? What if you're in a place where you're just feeling things out and the person suggests that maybe you could get together on Saturday and then never calls you one way or the other. Then, when they see you next, still act interested but fail to mention Saturday . . .do you have the right to say something? "Hey man, I thought we had tentative plans for Saturday. You didn't call." I wouldn't. I'd just stay silent and seethe.
What about after 3 months? You're seeing each other one night a week and almost every weekend. He knows that you had plans for going to a nice dinner for weeks, but at the last minute he cancels them for a pick-up poker game with some friends he hasn't seen in a while. Can you be visibly pissed then?
I think I have problems with the scale of things. Like, if it's not a big enough deal to break up over, well then, you should probably just keep your mouth shut because you're lucky to be with someone. Or that you don't really have a right to claim that sort of a hold on someone that you aren't officially going out with.
But I wonder, shouldn't you always demand the same level of respect, regardless of what the person's relationship with you is? When does it cross the line from demanding simple common courtesy to being a bitch?
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posted by LoRi~fLoWer
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