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Writing Tripe Since 2004
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
There is NO refusing.
It snowed a bit here late last night and, as per usual, the local news was having a field day with it. Sending correspondents to the grocery store to see if they could get people to empty the shelves of eggs, milk, and bread. Sending the new girl to Home Depot to ask people why they were buying that particular snow shovel. Making the weather boy stand in the biggest snow drift holding a wooden ruler while snow blows in his eyes and wind whips across his microphone. It's at least amusing as background noise.

One of the throng at Lowes Home improvement was stopped by a fearless news reporter and asked why he was buying a plow. "Well," he said looking sheepishly at the camera, "they say it's going to be a hard winter, my wife has a bad back and the kids refuse to shovel. So I thought I'd break down and get a plow for the front of my truck to do the driveway. It's expensive, but what are you gonna do?"

Oh, OK.

No...wait one second. Your kids refuse to shovel. They're your kids and they can refuse to shovel? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be out in the driveway shoveling (or even plowing) while my kids watch from the window with mugs of hot chocolate. Oh, you refuse to shovel, do you? Well, I refuse to feed you and buy you clothes. I refuse to let you out of the house unless it's with an effin snow shovel in your hands and a song in your heart.

Parents spend, what is it now? $500,000 on average to bring a child up through college? I'd say that's worth a driveway full of snow, don't you? Of course they're going to say that they don't want to shovel; you are their parent, it's your job to show them the wide end of the shovel and help them out the door with it.

End rant.

Oh by the way. If you are in the Manhattan (I think) area tomorrow night you should go here:

DEBATE: "Is Dating Tougher for Men or Women?" The Anonymous Blogger vs. Hillery Borton (Moderator: Evanchik; Host: Seavey), at Lolita bar on Broome and Allen, Wed. Dec. 7, 8pm.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
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