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Thursday, February 23, 2006
Revenge of the Commentator

I'm watching the Olympic women's figure skating. And I think Dick Button is mad that they woke him up from his cryogenic state for these games. Scott Hamilton and whoever that woman is are all "yes!, she's really enjoying her Olympic experience. She knows she won't medal, but she's really going after it." And "look at her, look at the fire in her eyes, she's out for redemption." After which, whoever wasn't talking says something equally nice, or even maybe says something slightly derogatory, but still sweet like, "I've seen her looking better but the pressure of this Olympic ice is intense." Meanwhile, all night long Dick has been living up to his name by saying things like "Well you'll forgive me for saying this, but I don't see any fire, I think she's a slow, clumsy, out of shape cow. I hope that's not being mean." And then there's this awkward silence while Scott thinks, "man if you weren't 200 years old and hadn't skated your Olympics on an outdoor rink in a blizzard, and if I wasn't afraid your head would completely fall off your body from your recent cryogenics, I'd so hit you now" and the woman is trying to come up with a way to politely disagree but she can't think of anything to say because he's Dick Button for God's sake.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
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