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Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Unfinished Business
I can't remember if I posted about my situation with my previous roommate. Suffice it to say that I left at the end of the lease, and she has never returned to my my $550 security deposit. I wrote her an email about it that walked that edge of nastiness and politeness, and she responded with an email bringing up complaints about me as a roommate that 1) most of which I thought were unfounded 2) were quite easily resolvable and discussable had she brought them up 3) were not worth $550 4) she never mentioned the entire time we were roommates. Things for example like "you sure didn't mind sitting on my sofa and watching my tv" and "you didn't vacuum enough"or "you didn't clean up the bubble bath under the sink." Well, she has a point on that last one. I did spill bubble bath under the bathroom sink and I had every intention of cleaning it up, but I forgot. I'll give her $5 for that one. As for the sofa issue, I moved into her house fully furnished by her, except for my bedroom furniture. We agreed on this. She never said I was renting a room from her. Although because she often made me feel that way, I did spend the majority of time in my room...I even ATE in there. So that's pretty much just crap. The vacuuming. Well. After her boyfriend moved in with us because he was under house arrest for getting a DUI , a situation that was only supposed to last for 4 months and stretched out for practically our entire lease...and since he was home all day and not paying rent... I figured that maybe the vacuuming could be on him. Sue me.

So anyway, she has my $550 dollars. And perhaps this feels fair to her. The cost, time, and effort of any sort of legal struggle to get this money back would far exceed $550, so I've learned to let that go. Mostly. But in her nasty email she also mentioned that I left a box of my stuff there. I really want to go get it. But just the thought of having to speak to her again makes my blood boil.

Recently she's been appearing in many of my dreams. This tells me that it's time to face this situation and take care of the unfinished business. Last night in my dream I came upon her and her boyfriend in a restaurant and she started talking to me like nothing happened yet in this condescending manner like she knew very well how horrid she was being. I remember getting angrier and angrier and finally saying, "you make me so mad," and then kicking her once, really hard, in the shins. I was wearing my heavy leather Doc Martins sandals, too!

I want to write her an email telling her that if she would leave my box on the porch on what ever day is most convenient for her highness, that I'll come get it during my lunch hour. But I also want to say something like. "I'm not going to waste your time or mine going point-for-point over all the accusations in your letter. You know which ones have even a grain of truth to them and which don't. So if you really think I put you through $550 worth of hell, keep the money. I wish my conscience would allow me to do the same kind of thing." Too much? Any advice?
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
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4 Comments:
  • At 9:02 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I wish I could offer advice - was there anything in writing stating she'd pay this amount to you? If not you're probably screwed and it could get nasty if you tried to get it. I don't know how small claims court works or if it's even worth it to pursue it. I guess I'd recommend being the bigger person and simply retrieving your things (whether in person or on the porch) and not mention the deposit. And then have nothing further to do with her. She probably thinks she's right and her "pain and anguish" (ha) are worth the deposit money.

    This is hardly related except it has to do with money: When my grandfather died, I inherited a small bit of money. I should have realized something about my friend Marisa when her first words weren't of consolation at the death of my grandfather but were, "So, how much did you get?" Tsk. I never told her. A year later she asked to borrow money so she could catch up on some debts. I loaned her like $500. Eventually she paid back half of it but then asked me for more money to buy new guttering for her house - it had been damaged in a hailstorm. I pounded out an angry email about how she still hadn't paid back all the money she'd initially borrowed and here she was asking for more. She was married with a kid and she and her husband both worked. I was newlywed and we were trying to buy a house and wanted to make a good-sized downpayment to keep our monthly payment low. I told her this but she replied angrily (I forget what she said) and I severed all contact with her. 10 years later I re-established contact with her and she apologized for her behavior and sent me a check for the rest of the money she owed. I'll never loan her money again. Our friendship isn't the same, for sure and she still makes comments alluding to the fact she thinks I'm rich (I'm not - for a while we had credit debt up the ying yang and lived paycheck to paycheck - we are OKAY now.)

    If my rambling has a point, it's to never loan money to friends. And as for roommate situations, get it in writing.

     
  • At 9:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ask her for an itemized list -- an invoice, let's say -- detailing each of your crimes with the dollar amount attached. Tell her you need it for your records in case you get audited....

     
  • At 2:18 PM, Blogger LoRi~fLoWer said…

    Amanda-ramble all you want, there's room. :0) You're right. My mom told me that when ever I "loaned" money to friends or family, in my head I should treat it like it was a gift. That way, if they did pay me back it would be a nice surprise, but if not, it wouldn't ruin the relationship.

    Anon--heh, whenever I type that I think of Romeo and Juliet. "Anon Good Nurse!" Anyway, I like your idea, but I don't think she would. :OD

     
  • At 12:36 AM, Blogger Becky said…

    Honestly, if your name was on the lease, then the Landlord should've written you a check for your half of the deposit directly. How long ago was it? You may want to call your state's real estate commission on it.

    Just so you don't think I'm a weirdo, I'm in real estate. By Hawaii law, the deposit is split equally directly to each person on the lease, unless I have something in writing that says otherwise, signed by all lessees.

     
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