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Writing Tripe Since 2004
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Friday, August 05, 2005
This morning I woke up having one of those rare mornings when I felt pretty good about myself in general. It's a funny thing, really, because it's Friday so I'm just wearing jeans and a dark green T-shirt that says "Waterloo Ice House, Austin TX" and beige flip-flops. Not very flirty, is it? But so far at least 5 guys have paused to say something to me while walking by my office. And you want to know why?

Because I have found it! I have found the scent that is irresistible to men of all ages, occupations, interests, and marital statuses. I simply apply this scent whenever I crave male attention, and suddenly married men are asking if they can/threatening to lick me. (Yes, I realize this might not be what all of you are going for, but you know those days when you just really want someone to acknowledge your womanly existence?)

Ladies, I present to you one of last year's holiday scents from Bath & Body Works:

Yes, that's right: Vanilla Bean Noel. I think it smells like wet, white cake mixed prior to popping it in the oven. Some think it smells like cotton candy, some think cookies. But it, apparently, sends out tendrils of sweet sugary goodness wafting down my hallway and draws otherwise oblivious, ink-stained engineers into my office, luring them so persistently that I begin to fear I shall have to dive under my desk.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
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