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Writing Tripe Since 2004
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Friday, July 28, 2006
Hickory Dickory Dock

My roofmate and I aren't home very much. When we do come in, we're usually on our way back out so mail gets tossed on the coffee table, jackets get hung over the dining room chairs, and there's a lovely pile of shoes near the front door. We're messy people, but we aren't dirty. We do dishes, take out the trash, keep food in the cupboards, and sometimes we even vacuum.

So imagine my surprise last night when I leaned from the couch to the coffee table to grab my drink and saw something scurry from underneath our door jamb (gah, the hairs on the back of my neck are raising as I type this) toward the far wall. I screamed...yes, I screamed like a little girl...and I must have scared it because it ran back into the fucking crater under our front door that is apparently usually covered by our doormat. I had no idea it was there.

My roofmate was still at work, so I had to deal with this alone. Deal with it? Right. I squished into a corner of the couch, curled my legs up under me, and proceeded to utterly panic:

There's a mouse. A dirty poopy mouse. IN OUR HOUSE. Shit Shit Shit. How did it get here? What do I do, what do I DO??? Call roofmate! Yes, that's it, she'll come home and then at least I won't be alone with the mouse that is IN OUR HOUSE. She's not answering....


A mouse that I'm fervantly hoping is the same mouse comes scurring out of our coat closet on the other side of the room.

*ding dong*

Shit that's my food. How can I get to the door without my feet touching the ground?

When my roofmate finally got home from work, I had been sitting on the couch with my feet up for approximately 2 hours. I had to pee really badly, but there was a large stretch of mouse infested floor between the couch and the bathroom. I had called emergency maintainance, but they apparently didn't consider a mouse an emergency. Roofie can be a self-proclaimed bitch on wheels when it comes to stuff like that so she called them back and some poor sad tired man had to come out at 10.30 pm to set up a mouse trap for us. We certainly weren't going to do it.

Apparently, from what he told us, the building that we live in has been having a "little problem with mice." And all they can do is trap them when people call. He said he thought someone had probably brought them in on a recent move-in. Oh and they're going to come out today and fill the gaping chasm leading to hell that is on the inside of our front door jamb.

I'm completely and utterly skeeved out. It's not the mouse itself that creeps me out, I've held mice. But they came out of a cage. I've dissected a rat. But it was dead already. But I refuse to co-habit with something that doesn't use a toilet, is associated with people who leave food in piles on their kitchen floor, carries the Black Plague, and can eat it's way through a cement door jamb and apparently muscle aside a carpet remant. I'm throwing out EVERY. SINGLE. THING. in our cupboards. Maybe even the dishes.


posted by LoRi~fLoWer
  • At 11:24 AM, Blogger Becky said…

    I would be the same way. My big deal in Hawaii were these enormous spiders. The first time I found one, I couldn't sleep, even though it was in my living room.

  • At 2:30 PM, Blogger mist1 said…

    Borrow a cat from a friend. Leave town for a 3-day weekend. Leave a bowl of water for the cat, but no food.

    Problem solved.

  • At 2:37 PM, Blogger LoRi~fLoWer said…

    Great plan except my roofmate is allergic to cat hair. :O(

  • At 12:48 PM, Blogger Sally said…

    We just had a mouse in my kitchen drawers. They love those drawers, especially the potholder drawer. They chew out the stuffing of the potholders to take as bedding. We've had many problems with mice.
    You better have a few traps around, loaded with peanut butter. Line them 1/4 inch from the wall (mice prefer to travel along walls) with the trapping side facing the wall.

    Also, you might start wearing some big heavy shoes all the time. I've stomped on a few mice in my Doc Martens. They make excellent mice stomping shoes.

    Don't vaccuum up mouse waste, it sends out microscopic stuff into the air that can make you sick. Use bleach/water combination to clean where they've pooped/peed. Wear gloves.

    I hate mice.

  • At 1:59 PM, Anonymous TJ said…

    Put a bullseye on the roof and call in the Air Force.

    I hate rats and a mouse is a rat!

  • At 9:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    if you wrap the peanut butter in a bit of saran wrap, poke a wee whole in the saran wrap, then attach the "bubble" to the trap, makes it harder for the mouse to get off therefore they will definitly trip the trap!!


  • At 8:23 AM, Blogger LoRi~fLoWer said…

    Sally you are a braver woman than I. I'm not going to TOUCH a mouse trap say nothing about stomping on a mouse in any kind of footwear. Just thinking about it made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. Man I hope they are gone by the time I get back home on Monday!

    TJ-that's the best idea I've heard so far.

  • At 4:09 PM, Blogger Tamara said…

    I had a dream about a mouse in my house last night because of this post. Except I kept trying to catch it with a crumpled up T-shirt because I didn't want to kill it I just wanted to get it out of the house and it kept getting away and in the end I accidentally smushed it. It was a very traumatic dream.

  • At 7:55 PM, Blogger LoRi~fLoWer said…

    I have to admit to feeling a rush of power at having that kind of influence over your life, Tamara

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