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Thursday, April 06, 2006
I'm fine with it--change I mean--as long as I'm the one who has initiated it. I'll pack up my life and move to Texas and then move back with little more thought than "how am I going to fit all that in my car?" But when things are changing around me and I feel like I'm standing still. . .that's when I go a bit crazy.

On a small scale it happens a lot at work. My job pretty much entails me sitting here and sometimes I'll sit over there for a bit, but usually here. The engineers, they get to go build things or tear things apart. They go to conferences to meet with others of their kind and talk about building things or tearing them apart. I mostly just sit here. It bugs me sometimes.

One of my favorites at work is moving across the country. He's still going to work for the company just not here...where I sit. He makes things fun. He's always up to mischief--like shrink wrapping something. It's gonna suck without him, but I'll still be sitting here doing the same stuff I did while he was in the office 3 doors down.

The night before CB's flight home I told him that I envied him. It's always easier to be the one who is leaving than the one who is left. I explained that he got to have the pleasure of going back, where everyone would be excited to see him and hear his adventures. To say nothing of that wonderful feeling of returning home from a good trip. While I had to just plod on here, where everything reminded me of him, or smelled like him, or was just the same as it ever was...only without him. Work home sleep, just like his trip had never happened. Me sitting here. Without him. He may have thought I was either crazy or just extremely and adorably emotional, I'm not sure.

So I guess sometimes there are drawbacks to being fairly content with my life. The people around me aren't necessarily content with theirs. So they do something about it. And I'm left wondering if I really am content or just complacent.

As an aside (or an underneath as the case may be) there are things in my life that have remained so comfortingly constant. Like my friendship with Meg. We had a second session of trying on wedding dresses for her last night and I can't remember the last time I laughed SO HARD that I had to cross my legs. Thanks, Meggie!
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
  • At 11:54 AM, Blogger bella said…

    Ok, let's try this comment again.

    "It's always easier to be the one who is leaving than the one who is left." I totally agree. I'm glad you had a hysterical laughing time with your friend Meg... we all need that once and awhile :)

  • At 1:32 PM, Anonymous Wes said…

    Um, why would you need to cross your legs? Is laughter arousing or something? Does it cause leakage? You know what? I don't think I want to know.

  • At 11:07 PM, Blogger Becky said…

    Wes, so she won't pee her pants:)

    You bring up a good point about contentent vs. complacency, but as an outside source, I think you're quite content. You're kind of in a holding pattern for the next several months, but it's as good thing and will be worth the wait.

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