Here in Eastern PA things are just starting to get around to blooming, especially the flowering trees. The air is warmer in the afternoons but still chilly mornings and evenings, it also kind of smells like wet soil. Or—if you live close enough to farm land, as I do—like wet something else.

This all means that the topic of conversation will shortly turn to allergies. For so many people that I talk to spring=pollen=death. I'm sure I get more snuffly now and then during the spring, but for the most part I'm lucky in being able to take deep breaths of the fresh air and sleep with my window open.

But just so you don't think I have no sympathy (that sounds wrong) I thought I'd share my weird allergy with you. You know how, sometimes, for reasons inexplicable to the average person you'll get kind of a hurty white bump on your tongue? My mom thinks it's from drinking directly out of cans and bottles, and she could have a point if you think about it. But that one hurty white bump on your tongue is all you can think about when you get it. It hurts to touch your tongue against your teeth so that's all you do all day long.

For those of you that know what I'm talking about, now imagine if every single one of the taste buds on your tongue turned into a hurty white bump. . .all. . .at. . .once.

This is what happens to my tongue if I use this evil stuff:

Just the tartar control stuff, mind you. Imagine if you will how long it took us to deduce toothpaste as the culprit! And you wouldn't believe how long it takes me to actually find a toothpaste without tartar control.

Unfortunately, my tongue seems to be growing more sensitive. The next thing to be added to the hurty bump list was:

Soon to be followed by anything hot and cinnamony. But the one that really gets me, the one that really makes me feel lost, and also the latest addition to the list is this:

No! Not my precious Orbit Bubblemint gum! Does my tongue not know that I need at least a full pack of this to get my through a day at work—a day frought with all the hazards of free donuts, free chocolate, and free leftover birthday cake? Does it not know that the sweet goodness was becoming my signature scent? I need my bubblemint. Need....bubble...mint...need bubble...arrrrgh.....

Do you have any weird allergies?