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Writing Tripe Since 2004
BlogYear in Review 2005

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Thursday, May 26, 2005
Reasons not to use to book airline tickets OR Why the end of my roadtrip was a disaster
  1. If they discover that, GOD FORBID, someone bought your ticket for you, using her credit card, they'll leave a message on her phone saying they've cancelled your reservations without leaving any contact numbers. They'll also claim that they have sent her an email telling her to call them which she never responded to; however, no such email will be in her inbox or yours.

  2. When you call to try to get back on the flight you will first wait on hold for almost a half hour. Then the first person who picks up will make you tell your whole story, then put you on hold for another 15 minutes. Someone totally different will then pick up the phone, you'll have to start all over in order to get placed on hold again. The third person who picks up, Becka, will sound like your savior. She will be happy to put you back on your flight. She'll sound so sad that she has to charge you $50 more for your ticket because the rates are controlled by the airline and they have changed. She'll take your phone number and assure you that they'll call instead of "email" with any problems because she knows you are on the road, and she'll swear that your friend's money is probably already back in her bank account from the previous "misunderstanding." You hang up the phone after almost 2 hours, filled with relief that you are back on your original flight, even the fifty dollars doesn't seem so bad all things considered. You had to use your own debit card for the ticket, but your friend has written you a check for it, so you'll even be able to pay your rent.

  3. When you get to LAX an hour and a half before your flight, you will discover that U.S. Airways has no record of any reservation for you. Oh wait! There is one showing, but it was voided. No, you explain, that was the first reservation. You are told to call 1800CheapSeats to straighten things out. You call a customer service number that the lovely Becka had given you. You wait on hold. 5 minutes later, when you are almost a sobbing mess staring at the clock above the ticket counter, someone finally comes on the line. "I'm at the airport," you'll say, "I really need help, I'm going to miss my flight." You're put on hold again...for 20 minutes this time. You finally hang up and call the regular number, figuring if they think you're going to BUY something they'll answer the phone. You're right. You spend too much time at the ticket counter as well as on the phone trying to figure out what happened.

  4. Between the three of you, you'll figure out that while your name is Lori L. _enn_ _ , CheapSeats has spelled it Loril _een_ _. You have to wait while CheapSeats sends an electronic message to U.S. Airways noting their mistake. While you are waiting you'll find out that your friend Becka has not only gotten both of your names wrong, but she has also neglected to tell you that she did not put you back on your original flight leaving at 10.50am, she has put you on a flight leaving at 8.30am, and because you weren't there, U.S. Airways has cancelled you as a "no-show."

  5. You'll have to pay $100 for a "change" to get put on the flight you were always supposed to be on in the first place.

  6. You'll get a frantic phone call from your friend begging you not to cash her check because CheapSeats has NOT REFUNDED her money and she's going to have to put a stop payment on her card AND change bank accounts to get away from their FRAUD.

  7. When you angrily, yet calmly, call CheapSeats the next morning demanding a full refund for all the torture, crap, hassle, and incompetence they put you through, they'll make excuses about merging with another company. They'll disbelieve you aloud that one of their representatives would neglect to tell you you were on a different flight, but back down a bit when you remind them that she had already spelled BOTH of your names wrong, so really, does it seem so far-fetched? They'll tell you that regardless of assurances and the fact that you were driving at least 8 hours a day for the past 4 days, that you should have called U.S. Airways to check on your flight information, and they won't seem to care that even if you had called to check, they wouldn't have been able to find you in their system anyway because BOTH of your names were SPELLED wrong by their illustrious representative.

  8. In the end you'll settle to only get your $100 back that you paid to "change" your flight, but you'll still feel angry and let down and your friend will still not have her money back.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Ouch! Mom! Becky hit me with her stick!

Well, much to the disappointment of many of my friends and the shock of my co-workers when I was an assistant manager at Blockbuster, I'm not a big movie buff. I'm constantly getting "You haven't seen that?!?" But I'll give this a shot.

Total number of films I own on DVD/video
Not many. Anne of Green Gables, Tuck Everlasting, The Sweetest Thing, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Gilmore Girls Season 1, Bend it Like Beckham, and When Harry Met Sally make up my entire collection. But I do have a Netflix subscription.

The last film I bought
Bend It Like Beckham

The last film I watched
Smokey and the Bandit (last night-woo hoo!!)

Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order)
Phantom of the Opera (my new favorite that will be my next DVD purchase and I saw it 4 times in the theatre)
When Harry Met Sally
Bring it On (shut up!)
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
( I want a boyfriend like that: "I didn't notice frump-girl...but I noticed you.")
About a Boy

Now I didn't get hit with the stick for music, but I'm more comfortable in that relm, so I'm going to do that one too.

Total volume of music files on my computer
1,702 songs or 4.9 days and 6.30GB (ha!, beat you Becky!)

The last CD I bought was
Help: A Charity Project for the Children of Bosnia
(I had previously owned this CD and lost it. It's great, chock-full of British artists doing songs that aren't on any other album.)

Song playing right now
Spies by Coldplay

Six songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me
One Step Closer by U2
So Cruel by u2

Lemon Parade by Tonic (go buy a Tonic CD people! They're so great and relatively unrecognized--plus if you listen to this song, you'll know A LOT about me.)
Time and Time Again by the Counting Crows
Rapid Hope Loss by Dashboard Confessional
China by Tori Amos

Five albums I can listen to over and over from start to finish - Greatest Hits don’t count :
Actung Baby -U2
Brushfire Fairytales-Jack Johnson ( get this, you won't regret it!!)
Notwitstanding-Chalk FarM (not together anymore, little known, GREAT CD like a mix of Toad the Wet Sprocket and Del Amitri)
Little Earthquakes -Tori Amos
Crash-Dave Matthews Band

I guess I'll bonk! Amanda and caligirl...sorry girls, I need to get more readers!

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
LoriBlog Search Awards
Some winning searches that allowed seekers to find their way to my blog recently:

For Deepest/Requiring the most thought: Galileo' life prepostion [number 1 result]

For Competing with a real commercial site: ADT Quiet Care [although I will admit that when I scrolled through the results I didn't see my blog. But this is all according to sitemeter]

For most disturbing/you found this in my blog?: my best friend's mom's tits

For most confusing: China food pails origins [number 1 result]

For making me wonder what they expecting to find with a search like this: easily discouraged
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Journal of Delirium
While on our cross-country trek Cavi and I wrote infrequent notes in a little leopard-spotted, fuzzy, spiral-bound journal. My intent was, and still is, to use these blips as a sort of roadmap to create a long, coherent post about our journey...because some of the best parts (like our stay in Parker) weren't even recorded in the driving journal. However, reading back over them I thought it might be amusing to recreate them as written first. Too bad you can't see the horrible, sleep-deprived handwriting. The method of recording distance/time is inconsistent and when I pull everything together I'm going to have to work it backward to figure it out, but I'm not going to attempt that here. We left on Thursday morning at 10am.

[Lori]Hour 3: still in PA. Turnpike in Western PA is not scenic. Just getting off turnpike onto Route 70 which we'll be on until Denver. 1500 more miles til Denver! Cats are asleep at my feet.

[Lori] 2:09 pm- West Virginia. Looks a lot like Western PA. Road. Trees. Bad drivers. We're at 1/2 a tank. When we're on empy [sic] we'll switch drivers.

[Lori] 2.22pm Ohio. Wheeling, WV is ugly. Tired of listening to music. Can't get the satellite radio to work right.

[Lori] 2.37pm Realize we are singing "Time After Time" along with Cyndi and not joking.

[Lori] 3.30pm Crossing the Licking River

[Lori] 4.16pm We can see the Columbus skyline and are stuck in Columbus rush hour traffic. Haven't stopped yet. 1/4 tank left. Columbus is smack dab in the middle of Ohio. 7 hours to St. Louis. Ok, not rush hour...six car pile up. Made it past before the medivac landed.

[Cavi] 8.06pm Illinois. looks likes<--need coffee Western PA. Still. Lori's driving. John Deere [the little gray and white cat] has a flea. Wyclef, pretty sunset, Lori finally mastered cruise control, but still hasn't finished her strawberry shake from McDs. Thus far many close calls w/ trucks. Mile 652.7 Lori has now been passed on the right an equivalent number of times. [Cavi] 10.48pm mile 805.7 St. Louis, Misery. ARCH!

[Lori] 3.05 am [driving] Kanas. Long. Very flat. Dark. Topeka has a pretty state capitol building. I think it was Topeka. Drove til 4.30am. Stopped at nasty 24 [hour] truck stop.

[Lori] 6.33am Wake up. [Cavi was driving] daylight. still in Kansas. 300 miles out from Denver. Still in Kansas. Look cows. I'd like a bed. I'll settle for some Visine.

[Cavi] 9.25 Colorado. *#!?*ng [yes, she wrote the symbols] finally. [Lori] 9.08MT "Where's John? Oh he's in my lap." "It's in the big CD case." [not sure what that meant, might be referring to the fact that everytime a CD was in the big case, one of us had to reach in the backseat to get it.]

[Lori] 9.23 MT "There's nothing like poking your cats to see if their [sic, ahhhh!] dead because they haven't peed in 24 hours."

[Lori] 20 miles out. [from Parker, CO] "we could water your car" [hmmm...don't remember that either]

[Lori] Mile 1,970 [In the middle of the Utah desert, I do remember this.] "I'm so stressed. I'm homeless. I can't handle ONE more thing. Oh, my check engine light just came on."

[Lori] 2146 Night in motel in Richfield, UT "Beautiful Richfield, where people come because they can't stand the interstate anymore."

"I'm just going to put my sleeping mask on and read."

[Lori] 2321 Arizona.

Seem to have lost interest in journaling at that point. It was our last stretch. Arizona, then Nevada, then Cali. The most stressful part of the trip actually happened after that, but that'll be another post.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
woo hoo
I'm back. Safe and exhausted. Long post as soon as I've caught up with work!
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Thursday, May 19, 2005
The Adventure Begins
This will be the last post for a bit, and this time I mean it. We're getting ready to eat breakfast and then head out across the country. Our route changed a bit, as we have been invited to spend the night at Cavi's uncle's house, just outside of Denver, Co. That's about 25 hours from here. We're going to try to do that drive straight. Actually, we are going to do that drive straight. Hopefully get to Uncle Mike's at around 11 or so tomorrow morning. Take a nap, spend some time with them, spend the night, and do the next 16 hours on Saturday. My flight leaves from LAX on 10.30 Monday morning. Right now it feels like everything will happen too fast, but I'm sure that feeling will change at around hour 10 of the first 25. Wish us luck!
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
The first bar was too quiet, so after one beer Jenni and Beth headed to their local haunt. There would be a crowd there, and the beer was better anyway. The 45-minute drive back to their hometown flew by while they sang loudly along with their CDs and made each other laugh with silly voices.

Jenni and Beth were still laughing as they made their way up the steps to Galileo's. Suddenly Beth stopped short, staring. "Oh my God," she said, too loudly. Jenni looked up, saw what Beth had seen and grabbed Beth's arm, dragging her into the bar. They plopped dazedly onto some barstools.

"That was him, wasn't it? That was Bill." Beth asked.

Jenni nodded. "I want to hit him. I have to do something. God he's such an asshole, I have to do something."

"But you don't even like Rissa anymore, do you?" Beth asked.

"No, but that doesn't change what he did. He needs to have something really bad happen to him, he needs to have it happen tonight, and I need to be the cause of it. He took advantage of the fact that Rissa was deaf. He took advantage of the fact that she was having trouble with her husband and her life."

Beth sighed and snuck a glance over her beer list. "Bill's just sitting laughing with his friends. Don't you think he recognized us?"

Jenni started to get up. "I'm going to go over there and hit him, I mean it. We might have to leave quick."

She would have done it, too, if Beth hadn't grabbed her arms. You can't hit him, Jen. I'm wearing heels, I can't help; I won't even be able to run. Think of something you can do that won't ban us evermore from Galileo's. I know he's a dick, but seriously. I'll help you think of something else to do."

They discussed a few things amongst themselves. Rehashing the events that had led to this need for revenge.

"And when she called to tell him she was pregnant and needed money, he wouldn't help. He blocked all her numbers, her email, her instant messenger, everything. She was wrong, too, but she was my friend. I wonder how many other girls he's done this to. I wonder what sort of diseases he's passed around," growled Jenni.

"That's it," said Beth, "an STD. We'll tell him that Rissa has an STD."

Jenni laughed, "No, one better. Watch this. When I walk past you, get up and leave. Don't look back."

Jenni got up and walked over to Bill. He looked up, surprised. He barely got out a "hey" before Jenni leaned in toward him.

"I don't like you, and you know why. But I feel like I have to tell you. Rissa is HIV positive. So you should probably get checked out." She thumped him on the shoulder like an old pal, straightened up and walked past Beth who was looking in the other direction. Beth quickly slid off her stool and they headed out the door.

As they drove away, Jenni said. "He might think I'm joking, but somewhere in the back of his mind there'll be the seed of doubt. He'll have to go get tested. I hope he has an agonizing night tonight thinking about having HIV and all the other girls he'll have to tell. And I hope it takes a long time for him to get back his test results."

Beth sighed and stared out of her window. As revenge goes, did this go too far?
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Something to Think About
This quote was on my coffee cup this morning.

The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.

--Deepak Chopra

I know a little about this man, and I know that he and I don't share the same beliefs. But this fits. I like it. I'd capitalize Ultimate and Truth.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
It's always the shoes
In case you didn't notice, I didn't post at all yesterday. Posting shall be sparse today and tomorrow and probably non-existant until I get back from my California roadtrip on Tuesday. I have to tie up loose ends at work and get things as organized as possible for my back-up. She has her own job to do, and will be doing mine in addition, so I figure the least I can do is make it as easy for her as I can. With the way reports ebb and flow, it's never easy to predict what kind of a week it's going to be.

I'm also trying to pack for this trip. I get one bag (since the car will be packed with stuff for the move and with 2 cats). I've decided to go with my trusty L.L. Bean backpack that I carried all through college. It's been to England and Wales with me, it's been to Texas, New York City, Utah and on many Pennsylvania hikes. Surely it will stand me in good sted on a cross-country road trip. I've got the clothes pretty much down. But the shoes? It always comes down to the shoes. I think an assortment of different colored flip-flops will do.

Stay tuned. Later today or tomorrow, I'll have a moral dilema for you.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Friday, May 13, 2005
He's not coming down this weekend. While I'm disappointed, logistically, this wasn't the best weekend for him to come down. I have my best friend's graduation tomorrow and she only had a limited number of tickets (4), that's her parents, her boyfriend, and me. I sure as hell wasn't going to miss her graduation, but I didn't know what I was going to do with Brad during that time. I also have a stuffed up nose, dry eyes, and a cough, none of which are very attractive. So his idea of rescheduling is probably a good one. The only bummer is last night I bought a beef roast and it's currently simmering away in my crock pot along with an onion, some pepperocino pepers, and a can of beer. Well, that one's his loss, I'll still get to eat it, eh?

I'm friends with Brad through his best friend Neil. Neil's wife is having a graduation BBQ on Memorial Day weekend, so I might be heading up there for that. And Wednesday night Cavi and I leave on our whirlwind roadtrip to California. Things happen the way they are supposed to.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
They got me!
They started attacking me the day before yesterday, making one side of my throat feel just a little odd. I ignored it.

Yesterday both sides of my throat felt swollen plus my eyeballs felt like they were flaming comets of death.

They got me again this year. The trees, the new leaves, the pollen. I feel like complete and utter shite. Good thing I'm not really sick; good thing it's just allergies.

Last night I tried sleeping while sucking on a cough drop. My advice: don't try sleeping while sucking on a cough drop. Then I tried sleeping in a semi-propped-up position. This worked for about 15 minutes. So I propped all my pillows in the corner and leaned up against them, sitting up completely. I fell into a nice deep sleep until I woke up when I started to take a chin dive toward my crotch. Not comfy. So I switched to what I like to call the caterpillar position. On my stomach, curled into a semi-U shape so I'm still propped up. It's now 2am. I'm never going to get to sleep, and now my back hurts. I sit up and check my cough drop supply. Gone. Noooooooooooo! In desparation I fall passively backwards and my head misses the pillow but my neck hits it, so my head is hanging down. It takes me a minute to realize that this is the most comfortable I've been all night, although the position seems counter-intuitive. I must have slept for a good two hours like that until all the blood in my body gathered at the top of my head. Nothing like your entire body tingling to get you up fast. 4am. I can still get in a good two hours of sleep if I figure something out fast. I sit up indian-style and rest my elbow on my knee and my chin on my hand. I wake up about every fifteen minutes, but this is how I am sitting when my alarm goes of at 6am.

This morning my nose is oh-so-attractively stuffed to the brim and my eyes look like I need to go under the jaundice lamps in the neo-natal ward of the local hospital. I want to die. Good thing it's only allergies.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
What I'm waiting for
Ignoring that danglin' preposition, I thought I'd post something I wrote in an email to a friend. The experience related to something about which we had been talking. Sometimes, when I can think about my past with this kind of clarity, I feel proud of myself and the woman I am constantly becoming.

I remember the first time Ben and I met after, well, at least 3 years of talking. I picked him up at the airport. I don’t think I’d ever been so nervous in my entire life. I felt like I knew him inside out already, but what if I couldn’t recognize him as he came out of the gate (this was pre-9/11 and you could stand right at the gate). I think he was the last person to come out of the airplane. But I would have known him anywhere. He was my Ben. He was wearing a black fleece shirt and he smelled like he’d been on an airplane for six hours. We didn’t immediately kiss, but we grabbed each other’s hands. I remember I just leaned against him for a second, like I was trying to prove to myself that he was real. We walked out of the airport holding hands, we didn’t really talk much. I think we were both in shock at finally being able to touch. Who needed to talk? As we were loading his things into my car I said, I dare you to ride on that cart (the luggage carts that you have to pay for at the airport). And so he plunked his tired body down on it and rode it down the hill in the parking garage. I knew then that I would love him.

I say a lot of bad things about him. But he’s a part of me. A lot of him made me who I am today. He did some wonderful things for me and with me. He was always gentle and complimentary of my body. If I knew that he was going to break my heart…well, I still don’t know the answer to that question. But life is what it is. He wasn't my novel; but he makes up quite a few chapters, and that's OK too.

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
A QuietCare Haiku
First, see the previous post.

I'm never alone
Phallic sensors glow always
Nobody trusts me
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Does This Disturb Anyone Else?
I saw a commerical last night for ADT QuietCare (TM) . The gist of it was that you put these sensors all over your house and somehow they "memorize" your "routine" and the loving, caring people at ADT "monitor" this "routine" and they can notify you if it changes. The example they use shows the ADT operator calling this woman to say that her mother hadn't left her room and it was 10am. Turns out Granny had fallen and couldn't get up. ADT QuietCare (TM) saves the day, right?
Does anyone else think this is creepy?
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Monday, May 09, 2005
Not really that funny
Ok, it's funny but sophomoric.

We have a issue we are dealing with at work. The issue happens to have a name that just engenders innuendo. At least for me. And since it's really all that's going on right now, it's even funnier.

It's sort of like if this "issue" were called the "Dicks" issue. So I'll be sitting in my office hearing people shouting things liket his down the hallway:

"Hey, have you done Dicks yet?"
"No, I thought you were writing the report on Dicks."


"Joe, come in my office, I need to talk to you about Dicks for a second."
"Oh, OK, did you have something new on Dicks?"
"No, I just have some questions about Dicks."

Come on people.

I don't care whoyaare, that's just funny.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
A Haiku About Work Today
Repeated mistakes
My job is to correct them
But I am too smart
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Friday, May 06, 2005
A Sonnet to the Guy at Einstein Bros. Bagel
I wonder ‘bout the bearded bagel guy.
With his unruly and bushy grey hair,
An old face creased in a permanent sigh,
Manning the register each time I’m there.

Why works he every day selling bread,
Ringing up bagels and fruit that is canned?
He should be writing beat poems instead.
Or fronting a ZZ-top cover band.

He is never polite, nor is he rude.
Blandly he asks if that’s all I will need,
Never looking at me, just at my food,
‘Nnouncing my change like its some sort of creed.

Yet I can’t but think here’s the riddle’s key:
An ankle bracelet that I cannot see.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Mid Afternoon Pick-me-up
To pick up Lori: You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

Ok. Yes. I probably would giggle at this pick-up line and continue talking with you.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Really, should we expect any more from her?

And I wouldn't think any of her friends or stylists would be big grammar buffs, either. An error on the front and on the back: nice!

Saw this on Banterist. You should go there.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
More Searches
This blog is the number one result if you Google (with the quotes) "to page this person press 5 now."
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
More changes
Ok, I think this is it. I'm going to switch to using Haloscan for my comments. It just seems more user-friendly, even with the changes blogger made to their comments. I wish it didn't make all the old comments disappear, but such is life. Thanks for all the comments so far, and please keep commenting!
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Ever just want to crawl into a hole and die?
During last night's Trivial Pursuit conversation, I recalled and told a story about myself. They found my humiliation funny, so I thought I would share it all with you. Gah, I'm getting red just thinking about it again.

Everyone at our office is pretty friendly with each other, and we tease and joke around a lot. There is only one person of color in our office, we'll call her Jill. Jill is one of the coolest project managers. She's always really laid back and takes everything in stride. She's older, but I'm not sure how old. She also happens to be incredibly beautiful and she has the nicest clothes. So one day she was wearing this really sharp outfit: Black pointy-toed high heeled boots, black wool dress pants, and a black fitted ribbed turtle neck sweater. She looked amazing wearing all one color. You following so far? So in my version of a compliment, I gave her my biggest sweetest smile and said, "Hey black lady!"

. . .

Obviously I meant the color of her outfit, but I could have sunk into the floor. I don't think my face has ever been so red. Jill thought it was pretty damn funny. I could have died.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer

 Posted by Hello
posted by LoRi~fLoWer

From left: Seth McFarlane, Alex Borstein, Mila Kunis, Seth Green, Mike Henry, Steve Callaghan, David Goodman Posted by Hello
posted by LoRi~fLoWer

Sorry about the quality. It was obviously really dark. I messed with the brightness just so you could see the stage a bit better. Posted by Hello
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Monday, May 02, 2005
A List of Things I Learned in NYC this weekend
  1. When my grandmother was christened as an infant she was given a pretty gold locket with her initials on it. She bought a new chain for it and gave it to me. It's 82 years old.
  2. I apparently have a "hope chest" and my gram just finished a baby blanket it for it. (Keep hoping Grandma).
  3. If you show up early to a meeting place, scope it out and make sure the other person hasn't shown up early, too, but is just sitting in a different place.
  4. You can't really walk comfortably with an umbrella in Manhattan on a Saturday, especially not when you are walking beside someone.
  5. New Yorkers don't look behind them when they walk through a door to make sure no one is behind them. (Where I come from, you hold the door open for the person behind you, even if you have to wait for a second.)
  6. If things were right in the world TAB would have a girlfriend. He'd take good care of one.
  7. He's probably not a misogynist.
  8. I don't like being interrupted.
  9. I don't have any hobbies. I probably should do something about that.
  10. If you stand up in front of hundreds of people and ask to eat Mila Kunis's poo, there's probably something very wrong with you. If you're Seth Green and you riff off that comment all night long, you probably want to eat Mila Kunis's poo too, but were afraid to ask her.
  11. It's good to laugh.
  12. Seth McFarlane may say he's thankful to the fans who brought back Family Guy, but he doesn't act like it.
  13. When you are eating lunch at a diner in Middle Village on a Sunday afternoon, do not look out the big plate glass window, because you may see a guy get out of the backseat of a car and throw up by the parking meter.
  14. Rice pudding doesn't taste as good after you've seen someone puke.
  15. When you get in from seeing Family Guy Live at 2am, and then go to church with your grandma at 8am, and then drive for 2 hours, your eyes will feel like lead paperweights and you'll fall asleep around 8pm.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer

Home: Eastern PA, United States

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