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Writing Tripe Since 2004
BlogYear in Review 2005

BlogYear in Review 2006
Previous Posts

Friday, December 30, 2005
"A special kind of vowel modification"
Most of the people who use Blogger for the comments on their blog have turned on the word verification feature so they don't get comment spam. You know...where you have to type in a random series of letters resembling a word in Welsh before your comment will get published?

The other day I was commenting on Bex's blog and scrolled down to the word verification and saw


An umlaut? How the hell was I supposed to do an umlaut? So I did a "u" but this was apparently unacceptable.

Stupid spammers.

I know, I know, stupid post. We can't always be on, can we. I'm sitting in my office with my light off so if people look from down the hall they won't even know I'm here today. That's my mood. And you expect a good post.

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I had a lovely Christmas...very relaxing, yet this next long weekend won't come amiss. I am spending New Years Weekend with Cavi, remember her? It'll be good to catch up with her, that's for sure. If I were going to miss anyone who's not in my day-to-day life anymore, I'd miss her. But you know how if you're really ticklish and people tickle you all the time, eventually, out of self-defense you stop being really ticklish? Well, missing people is like that for me. Anyway I still can't wait to see her.

For Christmas, Meggie fed my gossip blog (and P.H.) addiction by buying me this and this. Yeah, I asked for them. So WHAT?? Shut up.

Now for the most important stuff.



I've decided that I'm going to get engaged in 2006.

I don't know to whom yet, but this is the year. Please submit all proposals in writing. Men, women, doesn't matter. Be creative. We'll discuss the ring at a later date.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
To Kevin who somehow left a comment on Blogger not Haloscan
Dear Kevin:

Yeah, I do think it's weird.
And, no, I will not be posting a picture of my injured toe...especially now.

Sorry to "intrigue" you and then leave you hanging. I'm sure there's a website out there somewhere that can accomodate you, though.

Thank you for your well-wishes.

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
So I SUCK at Movie Quotes...So What?

How are you at song quotes? How about a little contest? No prize because it's too easy to cheat. But let's challenge ourselves:

1. "Such a custom as yours I could have any day. Well it's no, nay, never, no nay, never, no more."

2. "I wanted to see you walking backwards and get the sensation of you coming home"

3. "Did you think that I would cry on the phone? Do you know what it feels like, being alone? I'll find someone new."

4. "...when a old friend, I happened to see. I introduced her to my loved one, and while they were dancing, my friend stole my sweetheart from me."

5. "I remember running through the wet grass, falling a step behind, both of us never tired..."

6. "It was so easy living day by day. Out of touch with the rhythm and blues. But now I need a little give and take."

7. "Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones, turn into something beautiful."

8. "A schoolboy's dream. You act so shy. Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye."

9. "She's got one in the oven, but it's nothing to do with me."

10. "You do not understand. This is not how I am."

11. "Every streetlight reveals a picture in reverse. Still it's so much clearer."

12. "I have so much to lose here in this lonely place, tangled up in your embrace."

13. "And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse."

14. "Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now? Don't it feel like something from a dream?"

15. ". . .how blue her eyes can be when she says, when says that she loves me."

16. "If you wanna touch the sky, better learn how to kneel."
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Monday, December 19, 2005
The Toe of Fate
I seriously think I broke my toe this morning. I smashed it into the corner of my metal bedframe. It hurts hurts HURTS! Not to mention that I look ridiculous hobbling around work with only one shoe on...which necessitates explaining to everyone that I think I broke my toe.

I've taped the poor little purple swollen digit to its more stalwart neighbor, but I'm not sure there is much else you can do for a toe.

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Friday, December 16, 2005
Hey You!

*tap tap tap on driver side window*

Yes, you with the random braking. I see you have a Pennsylvania license plate. Surely you should know, then, how to drive in snow/sleet/freezing rain.


Well then, I will now impart to you and all those like you the secret of driving when the roads have a possibility of being slick. Ready? Because it might be overwhelming to you. It might shake your concept of this world and driving in it to its very foundations.

OK. Here it is.

When driving on roads that have icy patches the trick is:

Use your brakes as little as possible.

Granted, this may necessitate going slightly slower than the speed limit. But trust me a little. Are you with me so far?

Because here's the thing: when you are driving at a good clip, and you see what looks to be a patch of ice ahead and you SLAM on your brakes, THAT, my good citizen, is when you are going to slide all over the road. Not to mention forcing ME to brake and slide all over the road too. However, if you are going at a nice steady speed and you notice a patch of ice, simply lift thy foot off the gas pedal, hold the wheel with both hands, and ride on over it. It's simply fabulous.

You remain in control of your vehicle, you don't foil the driver behind you who has left just the right amount of distance between your cars. And you save me from having a stress ulcer by the time the winter is over. See how simple. Yes, it's counter-intuitive, but just try it. You'll be happier for it. And you'll probably have your car for a few more years.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Thursday, December 15, 2005
I am in serious need of some help
Remember how I revealed to you my gossip blog addiction? It's still going strong, and even though I haven't had as much time lately, I at least try to check up on the latest once a day. I've stopped being embarrassed about it...I just don't talk about it...much... because...well...I just don't.

But it's having a strange unlooked for side effect. Last night I had my third dream in which P*r*s Hil**n and I were hanging out. This one happened to involve her falling down and needing a ambulance, which I called for her, my good friend. When the medics arrived they picked her up and threw her in the ambulance but she flew out the door on the other side and landed in the middle of the street.

I know, I know, but I didn't think it funny at the time. My BFF "P" was in serious danger. I ran into the middle of the street and picked her up myself and gently placed her in the ambulance. I then accused the paramedics of hurting her on purpose, mentioned that nobody understood her because all they saw was the bad stuff in the news about her, and told them to get her to the hospital. I remember also at some point checking her pupils to see if they were dilated on the way to the hospital. Then I woke up.

What the hell is wrong with me? Is there some sort of recovery program for this?
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Service Interruption
Dear Tamara,

I made your bourbon balls. I don't know whether I want to hate you or ask you to marry me.

Yours fatter than usual,


Dear Caren,

"But I didn't want to muddle the issue with legumes" is perhaps the funniest line I've read in a book in years.

Feeling like Carrie,

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Firstly, I'm a little behind in reading and commenting on blogs. If anyone has noticed and is upset by it, I apologize. It's really busy at work with everyone trying to get their reports out before the holidays so they don't have to be here the week between Christmas and New Year's. I, however, will be here. Anyway...

Occasionally I am bitten by the writing bug. I'm not a bad writer, and I most definitely could get better, but I lack the most important attribute of the great ones who put pen to paper. I lack the determination and fire to sit down everyday and write something. Partly it's my job. I sit in front of a computer and read and edit all day long, so when I get home it's pretty much the last thing I want to do. But I could, and I don't, so there you have it.

But sometimes the first line of a story will write itself in my head. Maybe the first paragraph. Or just a picture of something that I want to find the words to describe. Usually this happens just as I am falling asleep, and then when I wake up in the morning, only the ghost of the thought is there, but not enough to write down. But the past few weeks lines have been swirling around in my brain. Pictures forming, a plot developing. Enough story to get past even my apathy and make my fingers twitch in desire of a keyboard. There's just one problem.

It's someone else's story that I want to tell, and I don't think--pardon my pronoun usage--they'd want it told. True I only know bits and pieces, and I'd obviously be fictionalizing and filling in and swirling around. True, also, that the likelihood of this story ever being seen by more than a few select eyes is miniscule. But I also feel like I cannot even embark on this without asking their permission.

Is that silly? Do you think I should just start writing and see what happens? Write it for my own satisfaction? Diana Gabaldon wrote her first novel Outlander for practice, not thinking anyone would see it, and it ended up a bestseller. I'm definitely not counting on that, but one just never knows in this crazy world. Then again, maybe I'm just using the above as an excuse not to attempt something at which I could most certainly fail. Input would be greatly appreciated.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
There is NO refusing.
It snowed a bit here late last night and, as per usual, the local news was having a field day with it. Sending correspondents to the grocery store to see if they could get people to empty the shelves of eggs, milk, and bread. Sending the new girl to Home Depot to ask people why they were buying that particular snow shovel. Making the weather boy stand in the biggest snow drift holding a wooden ruler while snow blows in his eyes and wind whips across his microphone. It's at least amusing as background noise.

One of the throng at Lowes Home improvement was stopped by a fearless news reporter and asked why he was buying a plow. "Well," he said looking sheepishly at the camera, "they say it's going to be a hard winter, my wife has a bad back and the kids refuse to shovel. So I thought I'd break down and get a plow for the front of my truck to do the driveway. It's expensive, but what are you gonna do?"

Oh, OK.

No...wait one second. Your kids refuse to shovel. They're your kids and they can refuse to shovel? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be out in the driveway shoveling (or even plowing) while my kids watch from the window with mugs of hot chocolate. Oh, you refuse to shovel, do you? Well, I refuse to feed you and buy you clothes. I refuse to let you out of the house unless it's with an effin snow shovel in your hands and a song in your heart.

Parents spend, what is it now? $500,000 on average to bring a child up through college? I'd say that's worth a driveway full of snow, don't you? Of course they're going to say that they don't want to shovel; you are their parent, it's your job to show them the wide end of the shovel and help them out the door with it.

End rant.

Oh by the way. If you are in the Manhattan (I think) area tomorrow night you should go here:

DEBATE: "Is Dating Tougher for Men or Women?" The Anonymous Blogger vs. Hillery Borton (Moderator: Evanchik; Host: Seavey), at Lolita bar on Broome and Allen, Wed. Dec. 7, 8pm.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Friday, December 02, 2005
"A Franco-American Bun in the Oven"
Big Congratulations to my friends Cara and Cyrille who, to quote Cara, have announced that they have "a Franco-American bun in the oven." Cyrille is French, you see. They had (have) a wonderful little love story, which obviously involved a move to America for Cyrille. And now they're going to make a wonderful little family. I know they are going to make great parents. I'm not sure what they want, but I'm hoping for a girl.

Whichever, baby will be cute because just look at the genes. Oh, and I helped Cara pick out that dress.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer

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