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Writing Tripe Since 2004
BlogYear in Review 2005

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Thursday, March 31, 2005
Sometimes hitting SEND is the hardest thing to do

Not sure if I mentioned it before, but I had been mulling over sending in a little piece to a certain ladies magazine. They have a section called "It Happened To Me." The story has to be "true" around 1000 words, and if they choose yours you get $1000. Being in a magazine will be the coolest part though!

So I began mulling over my adventures, seeing if I had done anything that I could dramatize enough make it interesting, yet something that wouldn't get back to the Feds. I figured I could come at it from at least 3 angles. 1) The topical, timely angle--"I'm a blogger, here's what I do." 2) The Kleenex Fest--"I lost my Dad suddenly and it changed who I am" 3)The humorous, cynical, witty angle.--I went with this, so I'm not going to tell you what I wrote about. I'm silly, but protective.

I started with something I had written up maybe a year ago, and expanded and refined it. It was only about 500 words to start with, and it was hard work to stretch it out without making anything sound "tacked on." I was pretty pleased with the result, but I put off sending it. I gave it to a few people to look at, got a few suggestions, ignored them all...and still put off sending it. I didn't even look at it for a few days.

Finally, yesterday, I made up my mind that it was time. I read it once or twice more, tweaked a few words here and there, and then cut and pasted it into the body of an email and sent it to the address they listed. I'm not sure if they will acknowledge receipt or only contact me if and when they get to my story and decide they like it. I probably should have written from all three of my angles and sent them all in, huh? Well, the baby is out there, and we'll see. I'll keep you p

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Hurry up and wait!
Well, in the interest of my new blogging policy, I won't say much. But some of you have seemed genuinely interested in my possible new position. So I'll say this. Everything is on hold until August. So things are pretty much status quo, and that's always been OK with me. It's good to know something, though.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Most of you probably know about this already
But I think it's really scary. I feel like I've been very careful not to reveal where I work, who I work for, what exactly we do. I've done this out of simply common courtesty and respect for my workplace. I usually like it there. There's no policy there that I know of. I'm still going to keep going on the way I have been, maybe treading a little more carefully. But if I didn't blog about what went on at work, I'd lose 8 hours of my blogging materal a day.

Anyway. If you happen to be one of the chosen few with whom I work who know about this blog, please think about these and be nice to me:

Fired for blogging
Write & wrongs
Don't blog your boss
Health Officals warn blogger to stop posting
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Anger Managment
Do you think that some people--and for once I'm not being sarcastic at all--can only be "content" when they have something to be annoyed at? Seriously, I think this is how some people get by. And I' m not faulting them for it, it's just interesting.

Me, I'm continually striving to put everything in place. I want to be happy. I have a set of things that I think would make me happy and I try to get them one at a time, or, if possible, by the handful. Who doesn't want to be happy, though? My work, employment-related or otherwise, suffers when something or someone is causing me stresss. But I have seen, and know, people that seem to use their anger to fuel them--to propell them further on the path that they want to follow. And it works for them, really.

My anger flares and fizzles. I get all in an uproar, I blog about it, yell about it, whatever, and then it's pretty much gone. I don't think I could maintain it. It takes a lot of energy to be angry all the time.

What about you?
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Dunkin' Donuts Gets Revenge
Karma, which apparently has no regard for proper grammar, just peace, love, and kindness, reared its formidable head at me this morning.

I woke up early today. With a thought of finding out about the new position, I dressed in pinstriped trousers and my rose-colored sweater that makes my skin look fab-u-lous. I did my hair. I took extra care with my make up. I strutted out of the house feeling oh-so professional, put together, and--dare I say it?--even pretty. And best of all, I still had time to stop and get coffee.

As I exited my car and strode confidently across the parking lot, I garnered an admiring glance from a cable guy or a telephone repairman. As I approached the outer door to Dunkin' Donuts, two men vied to hold open the door for me. "Damn," I thought, "I'm good." So I gave them my best movie star smile and said "Good Morning, thanks so much!" Brilliant, Lori, brilliant. I proceeded to head toward the inner door, stepped off the mat, slid the 3 feet across the lobby, smashed my knuckle against the glass door, and ended with my face smeared across the plate glass , gripping the door handle like a drowning woman holds onto a life buoy. My vain hope that nobody saw my acrobatics was quashed when I hauled myself upright and noticed that everyone inside the store had turned their heads my way at the sound of flesh hitting glass at high a velocity.

Brilliant, Lori, brilliant.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Ah, a little lethargy--a bit of this and that
Today is one of those days. No sunshine, endless rain, too chilly for spring. One of those days when all I really want to do is curl up in bed and read all day long, with power naps in between chapters. And in my alternate reality, that's just what I'd be doing. Instead I am sitting in my office pretending to work. I don't mean to be sneaky. I really am trying to go through the motions, but it seems like a 20 minute task is taking me an hour today. The only thing I like about rainy days in the office is the sound the rain makes on our skylights, but even that's not a sure bet since that incident. At least I can go home in a half hour.

So I've been thinking about starting another blog, but keeping it completely anonymous and not linked to this blog in any way. I want to be able to whiiiiiiine, or bitch about people. In general, I'd like to be able to feel very sorry for myself and get sympathy, but I don't want any of you, my loyal and dedicated readers, to see that side of me. Maybe I should just buy a spiral-bound notebook?

I did a bad road rage thing the other day. I was in a shopping center parking lot (the shopping centering containing the now-infamous Dunkin' Donuts, actually) trying to make a left turn from one of the parking areas onto the small internal "road" near the traffic signal. So I'm waiting and waiting and this line of traffic is piling up at the light. "Surely," I think, "this car will stop and let me out since if she kept going she'd be blocking the intersection on the red light." But once again, I had misjudged the courtesy of my fellow human beings. She pulled right up behind the last car, and stared straight ahead. OOOOOH, I was fuming. I didn't have anywhere particular to be, and I wasn't late for anything, but for the love of St. Stanislaus that was just RUDE. My evil eye was not melting her side window either. So rather than honking I just pulled forward like I was going to pull out. I pulled so close she could have set her Starbucks cup on my hood. I pulled so close she could read the fury of a madwoman in my eyes. I then stared straight ahead... which meant I was staring at her ear (she could have used a Q-tip).

She backed up and let me in.

I won. Yes, I blocked everyone else from getting through, becoming as rude as she in the process, but I won. She probably peed her pants. So while it was not a very adult thing to do, it felt. really. good.

Oh, by the way...if you have been shaking your head in disgust at my posts on bad grammar... If you've been thinking that I'm the only person left on the planet who notices or cares about these things. ..THINK AGAIN, EVILDOER. Read Gary's latest post. He makes me look like an ebonics specialist.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Who is reading this, anyway?
Apparently someone from my local Dunkin' Donuts reads my blog. I wandered in there this morning--despite my bad-grammar-induced avowal to the contrary--and found that the sign now read "PLEASE PLACE ORDERS FOR BASKIN ROBBINS AT FAR REGISTER. THANK YOU." See, was that so hard? My work here is done.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Monday, March 21, 2005
I have good aim
I had a particularly nice weekend. It wasn't rowdy or eventful, just nice. Thursday, of course, was St. Patrick's Day. So we had a little potluck type of luncheon at work. Anytime things like this occur, nobody really does any work that's not needed immediately, and the whole day is sort of laid back. Always nice. I won't talk about the Irish bar that Cavi and I went to that evening, it wasn't really worth it.

Friday night Cavi and I went to her parents house. They live in a big old farmhouse in Western PA on a good amount of land. Nice dinner and conversation, and then an early night. In the morning they made us breakfast, we relaxed for a bit, and then put on our grubby clothes and headed out to enjoy the beautiful day. We spent the majority of the day hauling firewood, splitting logs, and playing with the dogs (yay! for Lizzie the Great Dane). It was great to be outside after a long winter, and to be doing some useful physical activity after sitting at a desk all week. I found out that I would make a good lumberjack because I can hit a wedge on almost every swing. *TING TING TING* I rock. I also think I have nerve damage in my right thumb. Oh well, the nerve should regenerate soon. Pssst... I know you're singing the lumberjack song right now.

We headed back home at around 3 and then we (I swear we don't always spend this much time together) had dinner at the home of our mutual co-worker and his wife. Their apartment is in this converted barn situated on 30 acres with a pond. And they have a dog, too, Bailey. Any weekend that's a doggie weekend is a good weekend for me.

Still no word on the promotion. Arrrgh. Still, it's only 9.35 on Monday morning.

I may have some other exciting news. Well, exciting for someone who tries to find things in her day-to-day life that are blog-worthy. But I can't say just yet. Watch this space.

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Sunday, March 20, 2005

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Where do my editorial responsibilities end?
When I'm at work, I'm an editor. I never went to school for or took a class on editing, per se. (Working on it, but not yet). But when I was in High School I had the same English teacher for 3 years—sophomore through senior—and he was a grammar god. Mr. S. made us memorize numbered grammar rules. Then he would hand out exercises with paragraph upon paragraph of grammatical errors that would make even P. Diddy cringe. When we fixed something—say, put in a comma where one was missing—we not only had to put the comma there, we had to know why we were putting it there. So we had to place the number of the rule we were using above the correction. Some strange mixture of chromosomes from my engineer father and my common sense mother made me thrive on this kind of thing. I love it. I love that there are rules and if you follow them most of the time and break them when necessary you sound smart.

People know this about me. And anytime people know something about you it gets you into trouble. (Don't Tell Anybody Anything) Usually it's one of three things:

  1. They love it when I make mistakes (hey, they're usually TYPOS, dammit); and they very much enjoy pointing mistakes out to me that they'd never even mention to one of their other friends.
  2. They think that all I'm doing when I listen to them speak, or read something they write, is critiquing it. Ok, this might be true, but unlike the example above, I don't always point it out...unless it's especially funny. More than one person has said "I'm afraid to talk in front of you." Of me? Come on people. The worst I'll do is blog about name. Muhahahaha!
  3. They think I want to edit all the time. No, I don't particularly want to read your resume, cover letter, or the announcement you have to read at the meeting.** It's my job, not my life. I don't ask you to quality check my potatoes when I invite you over for dinner because I'm sure you get enough of that on the assembly line. Schemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.
I'm sure none of the above is going to change anytime soon. In fact, I'm sure other people with certain kinds of jobs experience much the same phenomenon. Truth be told, I don't even really mind it much, because, well, I do sort of edit all the time.

For example, this morning I was at Dunkin' Donuts getting a coffee. On one of the registers was an upside down donut box which read, and I quote, "PLEASE PLACE BASKIN ROBBINS ORDERS AT FOR REGISTERS." I felt a physical pain run through my chest that had nothing to do with the lack of caffeine in my bloodstream. That's not just an error, that's a monstrosity. It doesn't even mean anything. (Note: there aren't four registers so it wasn't a misspelling) I don't think I'll go back there for coffee. That's just the kind of girl I am.

**If you've asked me recently to help you with your resume, etc., and I said yes, it means that I wanted to, so stop with the indignant faces.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I want this t-shirt. You should too! is a great site!
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
The pain is worth it.
The other day I popped earrings back through the thee holes in my cartilage. (Two in left ear, one in right--nothing in the lobes.) It hurt like a bastard, but they look cool.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Monday, March 14, 2005
Don't Touch My Stuff.
Don't come in my office. Don't expect me to talk to you. You aren't funny. I'm not funny. And he's especially not funny. Just stay out of my way.

I'm very grumpy today. I've warned people whom I want to like me tomorrow that I'm grumpy. I've shut my office door. I don't want to be cheered up. I don't want to be loved. I don't want to be made to laugh. I just want to be grumpy.

Is this a problem for you? No, nothing happened. No, it's not that time of the month, why do guys always ask stupid questions like that? Are you saying I can't just be grumpy? Hey, don't give me that look, I warned you. I told you--wide berth, steer clear, leave the door shut. Today, I really don't give a flying fig if what I say hurts your feelings. I'm grumpy.

Oh, it's you. For the love of Howard, YES, I'm still bringing in the Deviled Eggs for the St. Patrick's Day Luncheon and of course I'm going to bring my own dish. What did you think I was going to do? Bring them in the chicken? Warned you.

And don't even think about reciting that Office Space quote about Mondays at me. I would be in my rights to do you grievous bodily harm. Just back away slowly and shut the door behind you.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Now we wait...
The interview...riiiight. Well rather than have to type everything all over again, I'll cut and paste from an email that I sent to Gary that day.

Hello Gary-Friend,

Thanks for asking about the interview. It went well, I think. I usually interview well because I don’t get easily flustered in that type of situation (plenty of others, just not that one in particular). I’ve taught myself that people don’t mind if you take a minute to think about your answer before you say anything. I’m not talking a five minute pause or anything…just time to order my thoughts.

Basically, if I went beneath their questions to the real questions they were asking it was something like this: Lori, you are a nice person. You are friends with basically everyone here. Can you be mean? Will you be able to draw the hard line if necessary?

One really good question they asked me is “What if you have to relate to your team a decision made by management that is final but that you think is wrong?” I had to think about that for a second. I ended up saying that the time to voice my opinion about the issue was during the meetings among the supervisors. Once a decision had been reached among management it was my job to support whatever decision was reached. That went over well because we had just been talking about how I would handle the fallout of making a final decision among disagreement of my team members. To which I responded that I would have no problem with that because any decision I came to would be logical and reasoned and after looking at all the facts. The disappointed people would just have to deal with the fact that they didn’t win this time, but at least it wouldn’t seem arbitrary. So, I was able to say that the same would have to apply to me for decisions, with which I didn’t agree, that I had to disseminate to my team. (I really hate calling it a “team” but I think I’m just going to have to get used to it.)

Well, that was probably more than you wanted to know. They said I should know by the end of next week. I feel like I did well, but not like I’m a shoe-in. I don’t think I completely fubar’'d anything, at least.

posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
T-10 minutes...
Until my promotion interview. I'm still not really nervous (I don't think enough is on the line per se), and this worries me. I feel prepared yet I don't really know what to expect. I've written bullet points to my answers to the scenarios that my supervisor gave me. I can't really think of anything else to prepare.

OK now that I just said that I'm getting a bit fluttery. Good, that'll help . Wish me Luck!!!
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Monday, March 07, 2005
Lori's To Do List
1) Learn to play Texas Hold'Em...well enough to win sometimes.
2)Study for my internal interview tomorrow. (Wish me luck! I need this)
3)Use all the information I have gathered to create a style guide for my company. Then stick to my guns when they all start to complain about having to stop putting two spaces after a period (we justify everything), etc., ad infinitum.
4) Use cash. From now on, after getting my paycheck and doing my budget, I will take out an amount of cash for day-to-day usage. That's it. Because I never balance my checking account in between paychecks.

5)Closely examine my recent desires.
6)Live in the present. New quote for the month:

One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone: and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.
- Ida Scott Taylor
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Can't say it better than the Verve Pipe:

It's a Bittersweet Symphony this life.
posted by LoRi~fLoWer
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
A Moment
I had a strange moment this morning as I was waking up. Rising to awareness, one of my first thoughts was that I had slept on top off all my blankets and sheets except one, and how much easier that was going to make it for me to make the bed that morning. That thought led oddly into my thinking that my mother would think it was really weird if she knew that usually I just slept on top of my down comforter under a duvet and not in the fitted sheet/sheet/blanket/comforter set-up with which I had grown up. Still with me?

Well, all those disjointed early morning thoughts about bedding led to one of those moments where I realize that I'm 28 and really living my own little life. . .making my own little life. "I live here in this townhouse with my roommate," I thought, "This is me. I choose to get up and go to my job. I choose to pay my bills and my rent, to buy a plane ticket, to eat out again. This is what I'm doing here and now. I choose who to see and when to see them. I have created this for myself. This is my life."

I wish I could make you feel that was pretty intense, but I can't seem to get the right words down to convey it right now. It wasn't like an out-of-body experience, or anything that dramatic. It was just a certain clarity about where and how I fit into this big world, based on all the little things that make me Lori. Of course, I thought all this, then rolled out of bed and, in typical fashion, whacked my shin really hard on my vanity table, stumbled into the shower, and eventually wandered out into the 5-inches of snow to clear off my car, ending up at work with wet cuffs and a great need for coffee. So much for the moment of utter clarity.

Anyway, I have an idea of where all those thoughts came from: I've been thinking quite a bit lately about my tendency to think of myself as young and inexperienced, mostly because of my upcoming promotion interview at work. I wonder if my position in my family as the baby (by 16 then 14 years) and the only girl has something to do with seeing myself in this light? I know what I need to work on is not worrying about the fact that the people I would be supervising would be not only older than me, but will also mostly have been at the company longer. But I am not that young, and I have had my share of experience. I've been in the work world full-time for 6 years (counting part-time, for 10), and I am smart, capable, and likeable. There is really no reason why I should feel unprepared for this or inadequate in anyway. I have as much of a chance as anyone. There is no real reason for anyone not to respect me.

Ever have deep and meaningful morning thoughts? Does anyone have any idea what I'm talking about?
posted by LoRi~fLoWer

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